29.4.13

oh God why

this post will not be cool nor happy. this is about several questions I'd like to ask to the God.

oh God why. why did You create those sad endings? I mean everything with the unexpected and unwanted results. the example is what I feel lately, You made him come in to my life and You made him to be a key for my happiness,  then after I gave him all the pieces of my heart, You suddenly made him go. I thought he belongs to my precious life like forever but now I know he didn't. "Everything happens for a reason" that's what they said but why can't I find the reason about the fact that You let him go from my life and make me feel like I'm the most mournful lil girl?

oh God why. why did You let him go? we have not even do many things together as I planned before. You made this story very short though I expect this one can be longer than about several years ago. now everyone blames on me and call it karma but well I can't fight this feeling anymore that it's been month but I still can't get over him.

oh God why. why do You still give me the butterflies on my stomach every time I see him? why can't You just erase this feeling so I should not feel this hell-yeah feelings. I feel he hates me now but I just don't know why. I feel he is happier without me but I just don't know why. I feel like I need him but please answer this one question; what's the point of I need him but he doesn't need me, God?

oh God why. I bet he'll never remember the things I'll never forget. This sounds a lil bit selfish but I hate that I kinda miss him. I hate that we don't talk anymore, and we're basically strangers. I miss how him made me feel, cause those few weeks made me really happy. I hate that he was already long gone. I hate that we don't even keep in touch. I hate that we had all these plans, that will now be forgotten. but no I can't keep thinking that he'll coming back. I just hate it but truth is I miss those good old days and I wish I could go back, dear God.

but in this last paragraph, let me say thanks for You. cause You've sent him to make my life more precious even if it just in a short term. thanks for meeting me with him, dear God.

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